Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The uberlube is also flammable
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
