You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
