i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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