"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
