I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
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