I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
