I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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