It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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