it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
