I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
