Someone shit on the floor
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize