Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
