apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
