Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
