Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
