cat food counts as protein by the way
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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