He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
