no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I did not marry a roomba.
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