C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
