I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I love you.
Bad choice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
