Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
