Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
