absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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