How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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