im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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