Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize