Me. At least after what I've been through.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
