Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
