Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
