The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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