weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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