i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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