just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
