You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize