I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
