I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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