I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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