oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
