i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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