I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
