His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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