it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
