Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
