ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
