I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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