Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
