I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
zippers are such a cool invention
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
