i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
