His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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