I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Randomize
