I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
