everyone is single if you try hard enough
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
