On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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