he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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