how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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