I puked a lego.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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