Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He? As in you personified your dick?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
