well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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