apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
