the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
