dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
