i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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