your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
