I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
