butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
